cousin camp

the kids always appreciate a trip to see their cousins. considering that we had an average of three people sleeping in each room, a nap occurring somewhere in the house at all times, and an endless stockpile of toys to be fought over, they got along with each other surprisingly well.

at any rate, it was better than this...

"[cotton] candy man, tell 'em the truth..."

part of our spooktacular phoenix phestivities included an october 30th "trunk-or-treat" held in the parking lot of mark & anne's church building. although the close proximity of the individual stations provided for maximum trick-or-treating efficiency, it is generally not a good idea to go to any activity where the central focus involves rapid mobility through a crowd when your hosts are as socially connected to said crowd as are mark & anne in their church. eli was less than understanding about any sort of fraternization which detracted from the amassment of candied delights, and he set out early to find the source of a cotton candy bag he saw in the hands of one of the guests. despite his repeated pleadings, we contented ourselves to slowly meander through the crowd, even stopping at the hot dog bar for a frank and a cup of root beer. when his pleadings became unbearable, we finally asked around for directions to the cotton candy stand. having been pointed towards the source, i assured him that we would not further be deterred until we had achieved our goal. although it seems like the stuff of movies, we walked up to the stand at the very moment the confectionery philanthropist at the helm was passing the last bag of cotton candy off to the little boy immediately in front of us.

although the candyman (a personal friend of mark & mary) apologized profusely, you can imagine how much comfort to the disconsolate five year old was his generous, if unnecessary expression of mea culpa. still, to mute the effects of the sweet scarcity, he offered an invitation to trick-or-treat at his home the following night, where he would be running the machine with a restocked inventory.

the side trip to the cotton candy house ate up most of our available daylight trick-or-treating hours. still, getting the kids excited about any type of activity would have been impossible without it, even if that activity was running from house to house to claim free candy. further, the generosity of the candy man knew not limitations of age, and he benevolently spun his sugary staves for the parents as well as the children.

(uncle mark overindulges.)

(eli & mary at the pre-halloween event.)

phoenix rising

after some consideration, i have concluded that the only feasible way for me to recount the past few weeks is by starting with halloween. for as a chronological account would read more smoothly, it would ultimately lead to my posting halloween pictures sometime in mid-november. and if i must choose between giving precedence to the tales of my aimless wanderings in southeast asia or pictures of fructose strung out children in fluffy animal costumes, well, let it not be said that i don't give the followers of this blog what they want. of course, our initial plans had included a trip to norman, oklahoma for a third annual halloween visit to our good friends and loyal crimson sooners, the castillos. although our travel prospects looked very good leading into the holiday, the view from our front yard on october 29th looked something like this...

at the close of the day, a final flight into oklahoma city was cancelled, rolling disgruntled travelers over to the following day's flights, and dashing our hopes for an oklahoma christmas. "but will," you say, "halloween's festivities don't begin until the evening. you still have the better part of the 31st to make it out to norman and have no less to show for it." not so, as the city of norman, in deference to an october 31st ou sooners football game, had officially mandated that trick-or-treating be observed on the evening of the 30th.

well, it was either that, or set the world record for most "please take one" candy bowls set out within a single community.

we sulked for around 24 hours, (reference the above picture) then set out to pick up the scattered pieces of our shattered holiday, finding that while oklahoma was of the table, we could still make it out to visit the kids' cousins in phoenix... phoenix!!! (again, reference the above.) so, throwing the costumes in a bag, we pulled into town just in time to make the festivities.

we had opted this year to have eli's costume made by 5¢/hour filipino children commissioned through target and sold at a roughly 1,000% mark up. he had expressed enthusiasm over a dragon costume, which he had become interested in after he and pen watched sleeping beauty at grandma's house. (a movie, which aside from making very little sense, perpetuates about every misogynistic stereotype you hope never to expose your daughter to. as an example, on the day of her birth, three fairies are able to bless princess aurora with one gift each. so what would you grant a future sovereign of a vast kingdom? overwhelming compassion towards her subjects? a functional understanding of political affairs? aptitude for foreign diplomacy? no. first fairy up to bat grants her physical beauty. number two- musical inclination. the third fairy is interrupted before she can bestow her planned gift, but we can only assume it has something to do with "d" cups.) although eli was certain it was a dragon costume, it more closely resembled a tyrannosaurus rex. this, however, was not the most puzzling element of the costume. it is unclear whether eli is supposed to be riding the animal, (in which case, where are eli's legs?) or whether he is actually supposed to be the creature itself. (in which case, why is there a boy growing out of his back? the costume as i see it, is a sort of dino-dragon centaur with two heads, although, i can't imagine there is a strong market for such a thing.

penelope's costume was designed by grandma, and in order to satiate her personal tastes, i requested only that it be the most gaudy and sickeningly pink princess dress possible. (hey, isn't this the same guy who was talking about misogynistic stereotypes?) to say grandma knocked it out of the park would be an understatement. the result was an absolutely hideous garment which penelope will wear every day until it fits like a mini-skirt.

lucia was a bit tougher. we thought we had done well on a cute, if hackneyed "furry jumper/ baby's face through the neck-hole" magical unicorn. whether it was the fit, the awkward head-piece, or the general indignity of it, she was less than cooperative when it came time to wear the said costume...

looking to throw together a last minute ensemble for the little one, kelley grabbed a tutu from cousin mary's dress-up box, which lucia donned not only with acceptance, but surprising enthusiasm. on seeing this, aunt anne scrounged up a crown and a starry scepter which lucia received with delight. as it turned out, she just wanted to be as elegant and womanly as her sister, pen. (you saw the picture.)

while halloween is largely seen as a holiday for either small children or alcoholic adults of poor moral fiber, kelley and i were able to parlay the kids' enthusiasm to our advantage. since we only let the kids eat a couple of pieces of candy, everything they do after about three houses is basically slave labor. dividing the spoils is no trouble either- kelley takes the almond joys and i get the laffy taffies.

(the kids were joined by cousins mary the mermaid and skeleton sammy. lucia proudly displays the costume she worked so hard to get.)

might as well change the channel...

we are currently blog-incapacitated. expect more updates after halloween.  

what the fudge?!

we are not winter people. while autumn for some means throwing chains on the tires, dusting off the snowboards, and stocking up on the latest winter fashions, the season for us is a time of breaking down, boarding up, and otherwise preparing for the deep depression which is sure to come. to every extent possible, we utilize our warm fall days as a farewell to world outside our home, burning through our stockpile of frozen treats, and wasting sprinkler water by the metric ton. as you can see from the picture, this is one of the last days we will be able to use our sled as a fudgesicle stand- it will soon be stowed in the basement until next spring.

once, twice, three times a lovie

those who have ever met penelope are no doubt, familiar with lovie. you'll notice that i don't call it "her lovie", "pen's lovie", "the lovie", or any other such modified title which might suggest that lovie is anything other than a fully functioning member of the family. no, lovie is the name of a loved one so dear, it shows up in more family photos than myself. lovie was crafted before penelope's birth with an intended application as an infant's comfort blanket. the idea, according to leading minds on children's development, is that a "comfort item", consistently introduced to the baby during sleep and feeding becomes a valuable tool in later months to calm the child when under distress.

to call lovie a "comfort blanket", however, would be somewhat like calling your liver a "comfort organ", or oxygen a "comfort gas".

among the great ironies of life is that you can never truly know how past decisions effect your current state; for there exists no objective "control" scenario without actually traveling back in time and changing the decision at its institution. as our little girl learned to draw comfort from the quaint little quilt, a dangerous symbiosis began to develop. like a weed, the relentless lovie began to lay roots; to attach, to intertwine, to inseparably embed itself within the delicate emotions of the little creature. and not unlike anakin skywalker, dwelling within darth vader but unable to free himself from the power of the dark side of the force, so our little one exists- tied to the life force of the inexorable cloth. did we create the dysfunctional dependence as it currently exists? could she have lived a healthy, satisfied life had we withheld this narcotic rag from our unspoiled little infant? we can no more go back and un-introduce lovie than we can change the channel when "die hard 2" plays on tbs.

one of the troubling aspects of pen's lovie dependence is that she refuses to keep track of it, or even look for it if she doesn't know where it is. as often as i have tried to explain the process of standing up and scanning one's field of view across one's environment, the mere realization that lovie is not on her person becomes an immediate crisis. not isolated are the times when i have seen her in the throes of uncontrollable sobs when lovie was literally within the reach of her stubby little arms. nevertheless, as lovie began to show the haggard tears and blemishes of incessant usage, its mortality became increasingly apparent to us. worn and diaphanous beyond recognition, each new hole, each needed repair acted as a harbinger of the calamity which rested on our horizon, as we became aware that the life span of this gaunt cadaver was going to be grossly insufficient.

and so we commissioned "new lovie".

new lovie was an exact replica of what came to be known as "old lovie"- the original blanket. (granby, the irreplaceable creator of lovie was wise beyond her mortality in purchasing and stockpiling extra lovie material against just such a day.) and while the resemblance was uncanny, new lovie served largely as a novelty piece until the fateful moment when we parted ways with old lovie somewhere between the south end of concourse b in the salt lake airport and row 33 on united flight 416. (it was a conversation i hope no parent has to have with their child when i sat down and explained to my little princess that new lovie was all that we were left with.) still, new lovie stepped up to its newfound responsibilities, performing all of its required functions with old lovie-like precision. (out of deference, i suppose, to old lovie, new lovie has remained "new lovie" even after six months of being the only lovie.)

thus, it was nothing short of speechless, stomach-dropping, head-spinning, 1929 wall-street crash horror when new lovie came up missing after an outing to the park. (yes, dad was on duty.) after retracing every single step twice, i had to own up to the fact that lovie went missing on my watch. since pen had talked before about wishing lovie were pink and purple, i tried to spin it as a positive. "this is our chance to rebuild a new and greater lovie upon the principles of lovies gone before." the day's itinerary was immediately dropped for a trip to the fabric store, and even with the purpose of the outing known, the stress was clearly starting to build on penelope. it took two locations before penelope was able to find a suitable fabric. the conquest, which seemed to appease her now violent withdrawal symptoms, was a gruesome confluence of pink and purple- a sight which i can only really describe as what i imagine it must look like when a purple dragon vomits cotton candy. still, no appeal to aesthetics could stop me from living another moment with a lovieless penny.

about a week or so after "special lovie" took office, an event unprecedented in the history of lovies took place. new lovie was recovered from the back pouch of an old unused stroller in the garage, where pen must have placed it after the park outing. initially, special lovie was cast aside like so much soiled tissue, but in time, a balance of power formed between the two current lovies. thus, "i need my lovie, daddy", has been replaced by "i need my lovies, daddy", and so on. like fishing line without a hook, the lack of one renders the other useless. thus, a new crisis has been introduced... "daddy, i can't find one of my lovies!"

in fact, i think i hear her crying now...

(other possible titles for this post were "of lovies lost", "a tale of two lovies", "she lovie, she lovie not", and "hey, you've got to hide your lovie away".)

lego warfare

eil has entered the creation phase. this is the time when passion develops for legos, magnetix; any variation on the erector set of yesteryear. to my great contentment, lego construction turns out to be an ageless thrill which our western society wrongfully and arbitrarily assigns to a needlessly younger audience. unfortunately, as i have disovered, there are two types of lego building: 1) limitless creationism, in which the only boundaries are the confines of one's own imagination; and 2) construction of pre-designed sets. while the set building is capable of yielding pieces of profound magnitude, they require a level of perseverance rarely found among the target demographic. 

which is how i found myself enlisted in the assembly of a birthday gift in the form of a v/stol capable  av-8 harrier aircraft. and while i did have at least the foresight to undertake this task while the baby was sleeping, it was attempted in the presence of both eli and penelope. now, i must explain that assembling a lego set in the presence of children adds a panoply of encumbrances which vastly complicate the otherwise achievable chore. for one, the critical element of time is introduced. instead of methodically completing each step of the provided instructions, the parent must realize that with every passing second, the chances at successful project completion further diminish. as soon as the pocket-sized plastic parts are unpackaged and placed on the working surface, they are in the gravest danger of abscondence, either by willful intention or simply sticking to the underside of a foot or pant rear. the un-distractible children desire to play a role in the project, yet they truly believe the parts will be self-accountable, presenting themselves when their time is at hand like so many newly hatched turtles intuitively finding their way back to the sea. under such extenuating circumstances, the parent becomes like cinematic protagonist diffusing a bomb in it's final 15 seconds of countdown. every precious second is a scramble to build the item while protecting the scattered inventory and simultaneously assigning the children with just enough responsibility that they believe they are actually participating in the process. there are split-second determinations to be made regarding which parts are truly integral to the final product, and where substitutions can be made with parts on hand from other sets. "it's the red wire... no, the white... no the red wire!!" fortunately for everyone, we completed this one with 00:01 left on the clock. there will barely be enough time to wipe the sweat out of my eyes, though... this set can convert from the harrier to a single prop airplane, or a helicopter.

cover me, i'm going back in.