the strict disciplinarian

While downstairs in the kitchen, we heard crying coming from upstairs.  Giving it the usual twenty alligator count to make sure it was not otherwise resolvable before intervening, (the number of alligators varies depending on what kind of day i'm having) i went upstairs to find penelope standing at the door crying while eli was playing quietly with a toy. i asked him what happened. pointing at a particularly jagged airplane toy, he recounted, "pen threw that airplane and it hit me in the face."

noticing that some details had been omitted, i followed up, "then what did you do?"

he responded matter of factly, expecting me to understand that his hand had been forced, "she had to get spanked."

feeding the fowl

we have yet to find a good duck pond here in denver. we took the kids and a half loaf of wonder white down to a local park to find not more than three ducks. (actually, two ducks and a goose.) being an uncommon feeding ground, the fowl were much less aggressive than some i have encountered. however, being only three in number, they seemed to get their fill of bread long before the kids were through feeding them. the kids proceeded to chase the poor creatures around the park's perimeter, showering them in a fusillade of unwanted bread crumbs while penelope called out, "here, duck! here, duck!"

eli leads penelope enthusiastically to the feeding grounds.

the fowl showed an initial interest in the bread.

eli has learned from trying to pet wild rabbits that animals get frightened when people get too close. neither penelope or the goose were familiar with this principle, although he did try to show his disinterest through his disregarded body language.

the ducks retreated to the pond where we threw some remaining morsels at them, but not all of us had the range of today's chemically enhanced mlb pitchers. unable to reach the water's edge, penelope just held out her piece and yelled to alert the birds to her presence.

at last, the fowl retreated further, not again to be found.

a whole new decade

the family joined me this week for a birthday celebration. i turned 30, which also happens to be my credit score. kelley commemorated my trigenarian debut with a wicked multi layer chocolate peanut butter cake. ambrosial to an extreme, the succulent pastry also proved structurally unsound. after the first servings were removed, the dessert toppled over and spread itself across the table. dumping the remains into a large bowl at party's end, we serendipitously discovered the unaesthetic, but no less palatable "cake salad".

notice eli going in for a lick.

al museo de historia natural

much gratitude to airks for the natural history museum passes last christmas. the museum has become the kids' number one destination, beating out the children's museum every time.  who else in town could compare with a herd of muskoxen and an anteater with a funny eye?

the bison have become a recent favorite, the once quotidian ungulate rising from the rank and file to near equal status with the highly credentialed elk.

penelope creates in the foam block medium.

llama ranchers.

these sandwiches nearly got us kicked out of the museum, but have you seen what they charge for a sandwich at the t-rex cafe?!

eli finishing his sandwich in outer space. there's plenty of tang to wash that down with, son.

chitown weekend

(chicago skyline by wesley willis)

i met up with bames out in chicago recently while he was interviewing at a graduate school in the area. (due to my lack of a camera, the photographs in this post are all simulated.) we had dinner downtown with cousins rob and sarah, and were met by bicycling stand up comedian and once loyal comrade of bames, josh orr. josh works a day job for a toy company which is somehow neither fun nor interesting, although he does work right next to the rock and roll mcdonald's of wesley willis fame.

(josh orr bicycling through the inexorably frigid wind of chicago's downtown loop. i can only imagine this is how he looked riding it, because we never actually saw the bike, in spite of walking eight city blocks in the direction he claimed to have parked it. i found it very odd that he would park a bicycle so far from the restaurant, but the thought that he might be lying about having a bike to be even more peculiar.)

the food running out long before the conversation, we decided to find a coffee shop type establishment where we could protract our convention, only to find that the bustling daytime activity of the downtown loop comes to a screeching halt with the setting of the sun. i felt like i was in high school again as we aimlessly wandered the unwelcoming downtown streets searching for any alternative to going home and falling asleep at a decent hour. we got a feel for the neighborhood we were in when bames dropped in to 7-11 for a tube of chapstick which he had to buy from behind the counter. as the hour waxed late, we stumbled across a 24 hour dunkin' donuts, where we escaped the cold in the company of every homeless person in chicago. although i have no explanation for it, i learned that by far the most common denomination of currency requested by chicago's homeless is 50 cents.

a couple of days later, we met up at rob and sarah's house for a little guitar hero competition. bames mixed frenetic fretboard acrobatics with subversionary left wing politics in a rage against the machine cover that scored slightly higher than my tip o' the axe to black sabbath's early work. we took our lunch break at "yango's burger's & stuff". yango the angry greek himself was working the counter. he yelled at us when we tried to pay with a credit card, (even though he had a credit card machine at his register) he yelled at us when our food was ready, and he yelled at us when he could see that we needed drink refills, and i didn't understand most of what he was saying, but what can i say, the man makes a good gyro.

riding the blue line train after dark.